If you have ever changed a newborn, I am sure you are familiar with the
dark, tarry first week poop. This story takes place when Skittles was
still having this dark, sticky poop. He was on an angled warming bed
with a short 3-inch plastic
sides. The bed was at a 45-degree angle with a round 2-inch mattress. When the babies are on warming beds, they have a round pillow that
supports their bodies and keeps their feet swaddled.
It was our first
time meeting Natalie, who would become one of our
regular daytime nurses. The first thing I noticed about Natalie was her
cute scrubs. She had a wrap style top that I only ever saw her wear
during our time in the NICU. Natalie came in to do our morning
assessment and Skittles was under the bilirubin lights
for his jaundice so my time to hold him was limited to 1 hour after his
assessment. Skittles hated having his blood pressure taken; they would
cuff his legs and so when they were listening to his heart and lungs he
would scrunch up his body and work his way
down to the bottom of the bed. This becomes important in understanding
the improbability of later events.
Normally I would handle his regular
cares (diaper change, temperature, and changing his pulse ox probe to
the other foot), but this time, Natalie moved straight
into changing his diaper. His little bum was at the bottom of the crib
so the 3-inch plastic guard was protecting Natalie from any possible
blow out. What happened next became legendary. Skittles had a small smear
of poop in his otherwise very wet diaper. Natalie
swiftly and skillfully switched out the messy diaper for a clean one
and wiped his bottom. She lifted his bum for a final wipe and as she set his
bottom back on the bed to close the diaper, he raised his bum up with
his legs and let out the loudest, juiciest fart
I have ever heard. (Just so you know, that word is outlawed at my house.)
I watched in horror as a dark, tarry missile
launched from his bum, clearing the pillow and plastic. Natalie saw it
coming and took a step back so she was more than a foot away from the
crib. The distance didn’t deter Skittles’s poop rocket. It hit her clean scrubs right next to the tied bow. Poop was all over
the floor, crib, his name tag. Skittles grunted his evil laugh and fell
promptly asleep.
It took 2 nurses and a medical assistant to clean up
the mess. Natalie had to borrow surgery scrubs
for the rest of the day and Skittles was labelled a “Stimulated pooper”
for the duration of his time in the NICU. The following day he hit his
dad with poop just after telling his dad the poop rocket story and he
managed to hit me once too. Once we were home
from the hospital, his pediatrician was able to explain how his rectum
muscles were too tight, causing constipation and his ability to fire off
poop rockets during diaper changes
1 comment:
I can appreciate this one because I am a nurse and a mother, grandmother and etc. This is a very funny story. Thanks for sharingit. I cracked up over this one. I can just picture the look on all your faces. Sheer horror. The photos of the baby are adorable.
Sending laughing thoughts and hugs our way!
Post a Comment