Attention all humanoids of the cyberverse. This transmission is to alert you to the following new protocols, as of Stardate 69870.7. The following shall now be observed by all sentient humanoid, cyborg, and droid entities.
Protocol 57432.A: Earth-based human 307265, known in the Bloggersphere as "Crafty" shall henceforth be recognized for her wit and valor. She has obtained a 4.0 GPA for all three Earth years in which she attended Junior Flight Academy. Subsequently, she also was reported to be of an exemplary citizen for those same three years. All Earthlings acknowledge Human 307265's success.
Protocol 57432.B: Earth-based human 307265, known in the Bloggersphere as "Crafty" shall henceforth be recognized as an enterprising citizen of the Multiverse for boldly going where no other teenager had gone before. Crafty did obtain, on Stardate 69867.9 the conclusive distinction of "Spirit of SoJo." This fledgling program required dedication in the arts of academics as well as social benevolence. All Earthlings acknowledge Human 307265's success.
Protocol 57433.A: Earth-based human 24601911, known in the Bloggersphere
as "Prima Donna" shall henceforth be recognized as the "Senior Thespian of the Year." She has been so nominated by her commanding officers for this great honor. Prima Donna was likewise praised for her astronomical script analysis and lengthy dramatic acts. She is now "The Favorite." All
Earthlings acknowledge Human 24601911's success.
These are the new protocols. The United Federal Council bids you a pleasant day.