We're OK, We're OK...

I have to admit that I have been avoiding writing a post because I wasn't sure if I could really share how I am feeling with you all. It's been a rough week.

On Monday we had a lake effect snowstorm which means that here in South Jordan and in some of the other cities closest to the Great Salt Lake, we received about 6 inches of snow in an early morning storm. It made the commute pretty bad, but only for a few miles. By the time I got to my doctor's appointment on 39th south, it was only a skiff.

Coming back home a couple of hours later, it was easy to see that the storm had left little effect on most of the Wasatch Front, but somehow, I missed that part of things. I had Teach and Twiz's babies in the back seat of my Lexus, all clicked up tightly, of course, and I was driving.

I'm still not exactly sure what happened, but seconds after I turned onto my very own street, suddenly I was sliding head-on into one of the sturdy trees on the park strip near the first house.

I have never had a collision like that before when I was driving. I felt so helpless and so terrified all at the same time. All I could think about were those sweet babies in the back and my charge to keep them safe.

At the surreal moment of impact, so many things happened at once. The airbag burst from the steering wheel and something was burning. The sound was deafening as the windshield shattered, the front end crumpled, and both babies began screaming. I heard my own voice repeating over and over, "We're ok, we're ok, we're ok..." I'm not sure if I was trying to comfort my little ones or maybe just convince myself it was true.

I pulled out my cell phone and called my sweetie, a little frantic, and begged him to come home. Then I quickly called Gamer, knowing he would be able to get to us quickly. My head was still reeling as I tried to force open my door. Thankfully, it wasn't stuck. Just then, a young man I had never seen before was right there.

"Are you ok? I heard a huge crashing sound and I came running." I knew I had to get my babies out and safely home. "Can you help me get my babies home?" My ears were still ringing. "I only live a few houses down the street."

He helped me out of my car and I asked him to get Twizzler out with his oxygen tank while I made my way to Twizlet who was still screaming at the top of her lungs. I lifted her out and hugged her tightly. I know I was whispering in her ear and "we're ok" seemed like the right thing to say. I tried to pull open the front passenger door so I could get my purse and the insulated bag with Teach's breast milk for the baby. It wouldn't budge. I was trying to focus. I could feel my torso burning where the seatbelt had bit into my chest and neck. I could see that Twizlet had a scrape on her forehead and I knew in that moment that we all just needed to get home.

We started walking and within minutes, the babies were safely inside even though both were still screaming and hysterical. My new young friend stayed with me until Gamer arrived to take care of the car and the tow truck. A neighbor who recognized my car stopped to check on us and another called on the phone.

Everything was just a blur, but I automatically found binkys for the babies and calmed and soothed until we were all feeling a little better. Shortly after that my sweetie came through the door and he helped take care of everything else.

A few hours later, Teach arrived home and we drove out to the Urgent Care. They x-rayed my neck and my hand where it had been smashed by the airbag, but thankfully, nothing was broken.

Now a couple of days later we have already received payment for the total loss of my car. My sweetie found another one for me and it has been purchased and quickly equipped with some amazing snow tires. I forced myself to drive today. I was surprised how difficult it was to get back behind the wheel. Twizlet's scrape and bruising on her forehead has now dropped below her eyes making her appear to have 2 black eyes.

My chest burns and I still can't sleep. My legs throb and I find new bruises every day.

At least my neck is starting to heal.

Some day things will feel normal again, but for now, we're ok, we're ok, and the world just keeps on spinning.