Sep 17, 2012

Little Brother

I promised my little brother that I would write about something from our childhood once a week and honestly, tonight I am brain-dead. So I guess at the risk of alienating all of you, I will tell you my most vivid memory of said little brother. Randy was born in 1973 and I was born in 1965 so I was quite a bit older than he was.

By the time I got to high school, I was not a very nice person. OK, maybe I was just a pretty typical teenager, thinking only about myself and not having much time for annoying little brothers. And he was! Annoying, I mean.

If I had a guy over, Randy had to be right in the middle of everything! I guess he was just starved for attention, but when I had a guy over, I wanted him to pay attention to me, not my little brother. And when I had my girl friends over, they thought my cute little tow-headed brother was awesome. Neither one of my two best friends had any younger brothers or sisters, so little siblings were fun for them, but not for me.

All grown up with boys of his own.
One day when I was about 16, I was totally angry at Randy for something. I remember standing over him, screaming at the top of my lungs. My anger told me it would be a good time to practice drop-kicks, using my brother's backside as the unfortunate football. I was in the very act of pulling back to send him flying when he rolled into a fetal position and I saw the absolute fear in his eyes.

I stopped immediately. I wish I could say that I pulled him into my arms and gave him a hug, but I didn't. But at least I walked away and said nothing. It was a huge turning point in my life. I never wanted to see that look in anyone's eyes ever again and especially not when it was directed at me.

That's why I've always been such a softie. I hate spanking my kids although I have had to do it on rare occasion. When those moments occur, I think I end up crying more than the kids do. I don't let my kids beat up on each other either, not even for fun. I want them to love and protect each other. I want them to be best friends.

I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend, little brother. You were always good to me and I never did deserve your love. Thanks for being patient with me and thanks for changing my life.


Dog-Walker said...

Hmmm. That sounds a lot like I'm working things out like that with Teach.

Nancy Face said...

My baby brother Jeff is 4 years younger than I am. He was always sweet - not annoying - but my older brother used to enjoy bullying me, so I would take out my frustrations on Jeff. Sad, huh? We had a fireplace that we never used because the flue was all clogged. I would tell him the "Fireplace Monster" was gonna get him, and he'd totally believe me. Or I'd put him in the boys' bedroom and turn off the light and shut the door, leaving him alone in darkness, and tell him he was my prisoner. He would scream and yell and want out, but it never occurred to him that the light switch was right there next to the door. Poor, poor Jeff.

Anonymous said...

I like you don't allow your children to beat the snot out of each other, belittle their siblings, talk rudely and make their life a living you know what, no such think in my hubby or my family, we rarely see any of them and I mean not at all, I hated when their Mother died and no one offered for the burial at all, they looked to my husband the oldest and myself his wife to do everything and I mean everything, they got the shock of their lives, we did it but our way the same when their sibling died with AIDS no less, we don't speak much to them, the cut off ties when their mother and brother died, I feel sorry for them a lot, they do not enjoy anykind of health at all, fight all the time, think it is okay to have children w/out being married NOT and generally don't have much to be happy about, their kids have been divorced and they think it okay to remarry quickly, oh, my I could go on but I won't..We love and cherish each other here only one child not married no children at all, we are happy, our health is what is to be expected, we are simple people, no money but love and God in our lives, you do reap what you sow.My hubbs sees them once in a blue moon since there was two in august and a 1/2 sister died only 18 1/2 years older than my hubbs is, he was asked for money, we hear from them when there is need for money, he visited never said one thing about them when he came home, I gave my last $17.00 for a card/flowers, thanked me by e-mail..Sad, my family are criminals and I would just as soon contact them as rub up against poison ivy, poison oak, sometimes life hands you some lemons, never chose to live their lives, your blog is so wonderful & I mean wonderful..If more Mothers & Fathers behaved like you and your hubby, the juvenile jails would be free of their inhabitants, one needs Love, God, structure, discipline & a sense of belonging to a family & caring & loving that family, yes every child deserves that indeed, kudos to you for providing that and then some!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Natalie Ockey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Natalie Ockey said...

You're probably not surprised that I don't remember that at all. (Also, I'm pretty sure I was not at all annoying as a child!)

What I do remember is you practicing the piano-- specifically the Saturday's Warrior songs. I would stand there and turn the pages, you would play, and we'd both sing. I still remember most of those songs.

My question for you is: How could you stand my insipid droning in your ear while you were playing? Was a page-turner really that useful?


LeAnn said...

What a really good post on your relationship with your brother. Now can tell you that I was the little sister to a brother that was 6 years older and one that was 9 years older. I did similar things to them. However, I also was teased to death; wrapped up in a sleeping bag and sat on; thus I can't stand anything over my head. Made to believe that lightening could strike me at any moment; thus I hide during a thunder and lightening storm. Most of the teasing came from the brother that was 6 years older and my oldest brother was the protector and sometimes the teaser. Maybe, I should do a post on all of these sweet memories.
Thanks for the memories and blessings to you!

Wayne W Smith said...

I had a large age gap with my sister. It was only until I was in my early 20s and she was late 20s that we had anything in common. We were just starting to become friends when she passed away at age 30. It is amazing how we take having our siblings around for granted isn't it?

Little Sister said...

What Randy said is exactly what I remember too. Singing The Piano Man and Saturday'w Warrior. You playing beautifully. Honestly, I don't remember a ton about you living at home because I was so young, but I vividly remember the singing and piano. I also remember the beauty contest. "You will always be the queen to me"--as stated by a what a 3 year old!?!

Shell said...

At least you learned from it.