Guest Blog - Bad Dad by Sweetie

So I've been working a bit of overtime lately. As always after a bit of that I start feeling like a bad dad, even when we need the extra money, the guilt seems to build. So I've actively been trying to do a bit extra... I know quality time is a myth... but so is Santa and he brings me some pretty good stuff, so why not some good results from the quality time fairy?

Here's some of the things I wanted to get done today... 

Get the grass growing better.   (This one's for my wife)

Fix some things around the house...

Listen to conference... (Eternal Salvation, but it's also a good example for the kids)

Work... (So I can get ahead at work and can take a 5-day weekend next weekend)

Play with the little kids...

Play with the big kids...

Tell the teenagers I love them and I'm proud of them... (I've been thinking a lot about what good kids they are but never when they are around ...I need to tell them)

Figure out why the shower is leaking....  (Everyone would like that fixed)

My brother has offered to fix a chair... (He is a way better wood-worker than I am... can't seem to get it to his house)

So all that was on my mind about 8:00 Friday night when Bossy came in to tell us that as she was closing the garage door a mouse ran out. Needless to say, my wife was less than enthused...that suddenly became my top priority.

I got up early, despite sleeping on the couch half the night because there were too many people in our bed... Headed out for some mouse gear...and some grass seed... (forgot the peat moss, and some parts to attack the shower problem...) Set out some de-mousing gear.. Quickly started mowing the lawn before reseeding, trying to get done in time that I could listen to conference while spreading grass seed and raking it in. Oh crap, the rake is broken... Guess I'll go inside and check on the family.   

Shortly after I got settled, Bossy came in offering to help clean the garage so we could assess how bad the mice were...  Offer was to good to pass up... I looked at all the kids nicely watching general conference... 

Expectation

Reality (Thankfully not ours)

"OK Kids... new plan we will be listening and cleaning at the same time... That was Bad Dad Number One. All the kids worked together to accomplish a huge task in a small amount of time, but the tiny radio was hard to hear....  Bad Dad Number Two. (Didn't find any mice, BTW.) We worked until almost three when I decided to finally feed the gang..  Pizza Hut... me trying to be a good dad... and teach the kids that rewards come to hard workers. After getting to finally sit and watch the last 1/2 hour of conference... I got feeling guilty and decided to take advantage  of the howling wind and take the kids kite- flying. The only problem was that I had to be showered and to the church  by six... I had about 45 minutes... 

Flying kites with kids is like fishing with kids only there are no hooks... but way worse tangles, and the odds of success are about the  same. But with today's winds the biggest danger was the kites self destructing. I was excited... i was being a good dad. Crafty had been talking about how she had never really succeeded at flying a kite, and today she would.  

 
They all got the kites up and crashed them and tangled strings... Of course it took me a while to assemble and get all the kites ready to go. As I was working on the last one, I noticed Crafty chasing a loose kite across the park towards the trees. Then I looked over and saw her trying to get the kite out of a tree. Sighing, I went back to getting the last kite in the air and then I would go help her. The kite seemed to be down and she was sitting, enjoying the shade I suppose...     Drat! The string is tangled right out of the box. Why is Crafty waving to us? Maybe her string is stuck...   i shout to Prima Donna to go help her.

Still working on the string about five minutes later. Prima Donna is further away and obviously can't hear me. Crafty is still waving and my string is still tangled...  "Sport, go help your sister," I call. Sport and Curly suddenly get their kites tangled mid air. I Start working on that. I glance over at Crafty. She still doesn't have any help...  

Oh good, divine intervention.. the pink Barbie kite is loose and heading towards Crafty. It drops right by her. At least she will get her help. I finally get the last kite in the air. Curly is by himself, getting dragged across the field...  Thankfully a big gust downs his kite. The Angry Birds kite is broken, but at least Curly is safe. 

It must be time to start cleaning up. Suddenly, I have a brilliant idea. The kites have short strings... If I put the long string roll on a new kite.. I bet I can get it pretty high. The string is pink and Barbie will match. Just as I get the string tied on, Crafty shows up in tears. "Dad, I broke the kite!" I glance at her unhappy face, "That's OK," I assure her. "But Dad, I got the string stuck in the tree and the fence and me and I couldn't move and no one would come," <sob> "and help"  <sob sob sob> "me!"  I try to soothe her, "I am sorry... want to see  a kite really fly?"  <sob sob> So I left her tied up for about ten minutes...or so.... Evidently she was waving and crying, but down wind we couldn't hear... Bad Dad Number Three. But surely she would like this. so I risk a man card  and start flying a pink Barbie kite with pink string. <sob sob>  "Dad, I'm thirsty... it's too windy, let's go home." Then as the kite gets higher and higher, they start to watch... 

 

The wind is really too strong for the kite... it's like a big fish. It needs line or something is going to snap.I have the spool on my fingers and the kite is taking the line SOO fast! Then suddenly the wind dies.  I drop the spool but the line tightens and the kite starts to climb again.... and suddenly off she goes. The string is burning my hands. The spool is on the ground. I look down... plenty of string...  up up up she goes.. this is SOO cool.. and then suddenly WHOOSH! Right through my fingers.. the string is gone... kite gone... Now it's Scout  <sob sob> "My kite! <sob sob>.... Bad Dad Number Four.

A few hours later.. the little ones are bouncing off the walls throwing pillows from the couch at each other, Bossy is telling them to stop. She can't see the need for some unwind time. I have a brilliant idea. I loudly demand all the pillows. After getting them all, I mass fire, bouncing them off the kids. They got the message immediately and I was soon in a pillow fight..  all against me! I got buried several times. The big pillows from the other couches came in...  then suddenly the fun was over. It seems I had caused so much excitement Curly's asthma had flared up and he started coughing. He ran to his mom and his supper come up all over my wife.... Bad Dad Number Five.....  



I never did make it back to the grass.. or the plants I bought....or the chair.. didn't get much work done..but quality time? I got that one...and the Bad Dad award to prove it.