Jul 26, 2011

Does Anybody Care?



***If you are looking for my normally happy self, please skip today’s post. Maybe I’ve been reading a little too much of Shell’s Pour My Heart Out stuff…well, see what you think.***

I don’t know why I’m suffering from Writer’s Block this week. I generally have plenty to say. Teach just came in from hanging out with her friends and asked if I wanted pics put on my post yet. When I told her I was having issues, she said, “Don’t write one. Nobody will care anyway!” Just shoot me now. Is this really true? Am I really only writing this for myself?

Once upon a time I thought I would grow up and become a mom and a famous writer. That’s because when I was in third grade, I wrote a 9-page story that impressed my teacher so much that I knew this writing thing was a piece of cake. I majored in English and eventually got my MA in Literature. What could be more perfect? My thesis was published in a nice hard-bound book and as a bonus I had a paper published in a scholarly magazine put out by BYU.
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I just knew I was ready to take the world by storm and become the JK Rowling of my generation. So I wrote a few short pieces, some children’s books, a magazine article or two. The problem was, nobody was buying. I finally sold a story about my grandmother to the Friend, a children’s magazine put out by the LDS church. I was so excited to see it published. Every month I looked from cover to cover, hoping to see my name in print. After about five years, I stopped looking. Clearly my story had been put on a shelf somewhere and even though I received a check for a couple hundred bucks, it was never going to be published.
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Frustrated, I decided that maybe it was the genre. I switched to youth fiction and completed my first novel. I even paid an agent this time! I was sure that everything would finally go my way. After two years, I gave up and released my agent. Maybe writing wasn’t really my destiny after all.

Slowly the dreams slipped away as I immersed myself in motherhood. Every once in a while I would take a chance on a contest, just to prove to myself that I still loved writing. I had a piece published in the Deseret News and another one in a Chicken Soup book. As far as I can tell, no one except my family ever read either one of them.

Now I’m trying yet another genre. Blogging has been my friend from Day 1. You have been my friend. Everyone has been so kind to me, so supportive. I love the blogging world because no one is judging me (at least not that I see) and almost everybody is polite and friendly. I hope I’m not just writing for myself…Teach, you’ve got to be wrong. Please, somebody tell me she is wrong.

27 comments:

Amanda said...

I look forward to what you have to say everyday when I check in :) I think you are funny, interesting, and have a lot of wisdom to share with the world. I think the reason why you haven't been published is that you haven't pushed enough money into someone's face...it's sick. It makes me sick that our so called American culture is so infatuated with money and the hopes to be famous that we have lost the real meaning of why people write... to express who they are. There are some amazing books out there written by authors of no fame. I have found them for my kindle :) I think you should make a goal to go to BlogHer (not that I've been) next year and submit a piece for consideration for an award... not because your name will be out there (but hey! How cool would that be?) but because your stories are great.. they are funny.. I certainly enjoy them, but who am I but just a mom out here in Florida reading about the lives of others... :) Have a great day!

Saimi said...

I don't know what goes on in the Literary world but as for blogging I post about the silly everyday stuff that goes on. Mainly for posterity and if someone enjoys it than all the better!

Don't give up what you love to do, if you love to write, than write!

silvertag said...

She's wrong. I start my day everyday reading blogs eating breakfast. We all get writers block from time to time, don't give up.

Tara said...

Don't worry. I think we all feel this way at one time or another. I work and work and work on my blog. I "edit" pictures. I change the look, the feel until I am comfortable, and no one seems to know. But - that's ok. Why? Because I know and I enjoy it. I like writing it. I like looking at it. And most especially, I like linking up to other mothers that make me laugh, cry, or OMG every day.

I enjoy your blog and wonder how you do it with 12 kids. I read your blog and enjoy. Please keep writing, especially if it's something you enjoy.

Also, sometimes, a break will help you re-engage and refuel your blogging self. You'll break that block and get back to what you love. It's your dream - enjoy it!

Jessica said...

I follow many blogs, but yours is one of the three or four that I check in with every day when I get to work and before I start my morning. It's positive, fun, and sometimes really funny. I really like reading about other people's families and how they work (I'm nosy, what can I say?!). Also, I really like your idea that you're creating a record of all of the little (and big) things that happen in your family's daily life that you and your children will always have to look back on- especially the little things that tend to be forgotten- those are sometimes the most fun to look back on!
Keep on writing as long as you enjoy it- I know I will be here reading it and I'm sure I'm not the only one!

Natalie Ockey said...

Randy and I both read your blog everyday! We all have days where writing is hard. Luckily I have Randy to write some of my entries for me.

The Bakers said...

I think she's wrong!! Keep writing, I know I love checking in.

Sara Lucinda Bell said...

I'm in the same boat as you writing-wise, but I do feel like blogging is at least a temporary fix. I may only have 9 followers, but they're nine people who like what I write and that's enough for me for now!
I like your blog a lot though. =]

Mark and Amy said...

I read your blog every morning! Keep writing!

Middle-aged Mormon Man said...

It is quite obvious that you aren't writing for yourself - just the fact that we are here commenting puts that idea to bed.

But - think it through with me - what if you really were just writing for yourself? Is that so bad? Isn't that what a journal is? Wouldn't you do it anyway?

I flirt with jealousy at times when I see mediocre blogs that have gazillions of readers, and I have few. Then I remember, I'm doing this because I enjoy it - and I'm not going to let that enjoyment be diminished because there is not a paycheck attached, or my numbers are low.

Keep writing. It is in your blood.

Tracie said...

You are wrong! I love to read your blog. I have spent many hours catching up on all that I have missed! You brought me up when I was down on my blogging wondering if it mattered. What matters is that you enjoy it, not how many hits you get (I still have to remind my self of that one!) Please keep writting.

Prima Donna said...

Ohh Mom i looove this blog. I read it every day and if i don't I'll read the ones I missed the next day. Ive read them all. I love you!


P.S. I'll write a guest blog for you to give you a break, if you want...

Jennifer said...

I read your posts every day (sometimes I forget I've read it and come back to your page!). If it counts for anymore, I'm in the UK so you can say you have readers worldwide :-)

Sara Hammond said...

I want to make sure I get counted. I read every post you write and I really enjoy your style!

Lexie Loo, Lily, Liam & Dylan Too said...

Keep on writing! I make sure to check your blog regularly!

Shell said...

She's wrong. The blogosphere does care. :)

One thing though- is not to feel guilty if you have a day when you don't post. B/c we all need a break. xo

Intentional Living Homestead said...

Your blog is great...and I do not write for others..just myself and family that live far away.

As you can see I have very few followers (way less than you LOL) and I'm lucky to get 3-4 comments...but not that often.

So write for you and then have your blog published with My publisher or Blub...that' what I'm doing.

Love your blog.

Sarah said...

She's wrong. This writing this is tough. I'm an aspiring writer, and I've been pushing my books to no avail. It's easy to get disheartened. I don't think Teach really even meant it in a negative way. Sometimes we speak before we think. I really enjoy your blog, and reading about your adventures. I'm the youngest of 9 kids. When I was younger, I loved any series of books that was about a family with a bunch of kids, and I enjoy the real-life version of those stories now through your blog. I relate to a lot of the posts about life in a big family. Hang in there, keep posting.

Arkansas Patti said...

You really have an interesting and usually fun blog. Keep er coming. For someone with writers block, you batted out quite a nice post just now.
I get WB everytime I hid Publish on my blog. I keep thinking,'well, that was the last'.
The beauty of blogging is the instant feed back. That is what keeps me going. It is a bit addictive.

Sant Family said...

I'm confused about why you started listening to your kids in the first place? jk You were in the newspaper! Clearly people are reading!

Katie said...

I enjoy reading your blog! Especially all the yummy recipes...so if nothing else is coming to mind, I am sure you could always post some more of those! ;)

Bossy said...

Look at all these amazing comments from people that really read your blog and aren't just commenting to get more readers on a popular mommy blog...

I think there is a bit of a pressure right now to be "on" and funny every blog. But life isn't always rainbows and cupcakes. I know it has been difficult with me working and not being able to call in the middle of the night and brainstorm anymore. As many have said it is okay to take a break and it is okay to make a post short and sweet.

Shell's "Pour your heart out" is a meme that is meant as a writing prompt. There are 30 day "blog challenges" and other things to keep people going. You made it through 192 posts before you got writer's block. That is pretty darn amazing.

And I think what Teach meant was "people will understand you need a break" not "no one will care (if you disappear.)"

Katie said...

You are one of my few blog friends, not just one of my firsts! :) The only recipe I have actually made is the fudge (which my husband took some into work to share and he said it was all gone in about 5 minutes). I am definitely going to try more of them, I just am sooooo not into cooking these days! I have been sticking to just a few easy things, and lots of cereal and sandwiches...good thing thats what my husband and boys like! I have a list of things I am going to make once I have the baby and it cools off though, I will let you know how the recipes I get from you turn out.

Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

You are a great writer! Your blog stood out to me right when I found it and you have so many interesting stories to tell!

I think a lot of writers go through some tough times. And, as you can see, you're having more of an impact than you even knew. :)

Minivan Mama said...

If you love writing...then never give up! Its the only way you can realize your dreams!!!

mCat said...

It's interesting the different reasons people blog. Some to write and have others enjoy. Some to just journal. Some to put their thoughts out there and if someone cares to read, then great.

Whatever reason you choose to blog, it's YOUR reason and it's FOR YOU.

I say, if you love it, keep at it!

Anita@Dreaming Beneath the Spires said...

Blogger is great, because you just have to look at your stats to verify that you are not writing just for yourself!!
All writers write for themselves initially, and then gradually, they look over their shoulders and see that they have an increasing group of readers following them.
Blessings!
Anita