Moments in the NICU: Baby Beluga by Bossy

Did you see that article about the mama killer whale in Seattle who carried her baby for 17 days after it died shortly after delivery?  It made national headlines on day two of her carrying the corpse and that is when I realized Skittles was our little white whale. 

If you recall, Skittles was large for a preemie, 7lbs 13 oz.  And the photos Gamer took of him at delivery make him look closer to 18 lbs. That is because both Skittles and I gained a dangerous amount of water weight during the third trimester.  I hadn’t realized just how bad my swelling was until I lost most of the water weight and felt like a normal human. 

I tend to cowgirl up and power through pain or discomfort.  So the signs of pre-eclampsia were unnoticed and my blood pressure always appeared normal at the doctor’s office.  The delivery pictures of Skittles are a testament to how much I need to pay better attention to my body. 

Well before the blog, my kids have an animal nickname assigned to them. When Mom started her blog, I didn’t want to use those family nick names. Taco is my monkey because he would stick his toes in my ribs during the pregnancy and he always turned himself upside down to hang off the couch as a baby. Burrito became monster (I think Gamer assigned that because of his colic). When Cat Woman joined us it was natural that she was our kitten. Bean Dip has always been a hairy Gorilla. Even Chips (Shark) and Salsa (Lion) were assigned animals when they joined. Calder became our Caldersaurus.
 
One thing each of my kids has is an Usbourne “That’s not my ____” book that is their animal. (Except for Chips and Bean Dip, please Osbourne, I need a shark, gorilla, and a whale book.) Holding Skittles, crying over a mourning mama killer whale, I began to miss my Calder, Chips and Salsa. I starting thinking about Salsa and how much he loved to sing Baby Beluga he learned at preschool. In that moment I thought Skittles really looked like a little white whale in his post-delivery pictures. 

I looked down at my now tiny, normal looking baby and began to sign Baby Beluga to him.  He snuggled deeper into my chest.  This was the start of both the NICU singing and the beginning of singing Baby Beluga to Skittles as a lullaby to get him to go to sleep. The next night, Gamer joined me on speaker phone singing to his son. I wish Salsa was around to sing to Skittles. I know he would have loved being a big brother.