Tonight I was reading to the kids before we went to the library to return some books. Sport was interested in this book about lizards. He read the first half out loud and then I read the second half. The kids thought the lizards were awesome! Me...not so much. Lizards and I go way back...
It was about 1977. I was a sixth-grader in small-town Utah. Our district was rather poor so we didn't have much money for field trips and other frivolities. The powers-that-be decided it would be a great idea to have us discover our own county! We made a trip to Spring City to see the old houses there that were considered historic landmarks and we looked for trilobites west of Ephraim. Then we rode up into the foothills looking for I don't remember what.
Our teacher was busy pointing out the various rocks and plants when some of the boys found a lizard. It wasn't a very big lizard, probably about six inches long and rather harmless. They were actually running all over the rocks so it wasn't that difficult for them to catch one. Then the boys proceeded to run up to a group of unsuspecting girls and send them screeching and running in all directions.
Well that wasn't going to work with me.
|My class on the actual field trip to Spring City|
I turned away, hoping to not get trampled in the stampede. The boys zipped past me, intent on terrorizing the lizard if they couldn't use it to terrorize the girls. Fortunately they lost sight of the poor thing and after about 5 minutes of searching, they headed off on new adventures.
I was left standing there...in my pink bell-bottom jeans.
It wasn't long before I started feeling uncomfortable. Something was itching my leg. Then I felt a distinct movement. I turned away from the group and in a panic, I unbuttoned my pants. He was on my hip, crawling steadily upward as I ripped open my fly and stared into his beady little eyes. I stifled a scream; I couldn't let anyone see me with my pants undone. Without touching him, I urged him to QUICKLY leave my person.
Apparently he had seen his only escape route from the boys as running up the inside of my pant leg. Yeah, you can be grateful that skinny jeans are all the rage now. He might have tried the same thing, but he would never have gotten past my ankle.