Widgets Magazine

Feb 28, 2012

Lizards

Were you worried? I know, I just couldn't do it. So here I am, losing sleep, writing another post.

Tonight I was reading to the kids before we went to the library to return some books. Sport was interested in this book about lizards. He read the first half out loud and then I read the second half. The kids thought the lizards were awesome! Me...not so much. Lizards and I go way back...

It was about 1977. I was a sixth-grader in small-town Utah. Our district was rather poor so we didn't have much money for field trips and other frivolities. The powers-that-be decided it would be a great idea to have us discover our own county! We made a trip to Spring City to see the old houses there that were considered historic landmarks and we looked for trilobites west of Ephraim. Then we rode up into the foothills looking for I don't remember what.

Our teacher was busy pointing out the various rocks and plants when some of the boys found a lizard. It wasn't a very big lizard, probably about six inches long and rather harmless. They were actually running all over the rocks so it wasn't that difficult for them to catch one. Then the boys proceeded to run up to a group of unsuspecting girls and send them screeching and running in all directions.

Well that wasn't going to work with me.

My class on the actual field trip to Spring City
I had two older brothers and I had certainly been around lizards before. It wasn't long before Mrs Howell got wind of the situation and she ordered the boys to release the poor creature. I was about twenty feet away when they set it down on a rock and started chasing it. Of course it ran straight toward me!

I turned away, hoping to not get trampled in the stampede. The boys zipped past me, intent on terrorizing the lizard if they couldn't use it to terrorize the girls. Fortunately they lost sight of the poor thing and after about 5 minutes of searching, they headed off on new adventures.

I was left standing there...in my pink bell-bottom jeans.

Sixth-grade Me

It wasn't long before I started feeling uncomfortable. Something was itching my leg. Then I felt a distinct movement. I turned away from the group and in a panic, I unbuttoned my pants. He was on my hip, crawling steadily upward as I ripped open my fly and stared into his beady little eyes. I stifled a scream; I couldn't let anyone see me with my pants undone. Without touching him, I urged him to QUICKLY leave my person.

Apparently he had seen his only escape route from the boys as running up the inside of my pant leg. Yeah, you can be grateful that skinny jeans are all the rage now. He might have tried the same thing, but he would never have gotten past my ankle.

6 comments:

Natalie Ockey said...

Nice work on not screaming. I don't think I would have been quite that calm.

Crystal Pistol said...

Ack! That is a HORRIBLE story. I would be scarred for life. The very thought of a beady eyed lizard in my pants makes me squirm. EEEk!

Arkansas Patti said...

How thoughtful of you to provide the lizard with sanctuary. Poor little critter.
I am pretty calm about lizards but bow to your control with one climbing up your leg.

Shell said...

Oh, I would have freaked out!

Amanda said...

awesome story!!!!

Katie said...

Oh my goodness! The same thing happened to me once with a very large carpenter ant. Despite being in the presence of all of my family members (brother and dad included) I ripped my pants off and started screaming. I don't know what I would have done with a huge lizard! Great job on keeping calm there!

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