Birth Story - Bossy, Part 3

By the time we got to Utah Valley Hospital, it was late…approaching midnight. We checked our little Bossy into the border nursery and they told us to leave and find somewhere to rest. They had everything under control and since we were young and stupid (and tired) Grandma drove us over to my sister’s apartment. She and her hubby had been married about a year longer than us and her little guy was about three months old. It was so hard watching her hold him and nurse him! I was so sad and I was bulging with milk. Grandma suggested that I pump, but that just made me cry more. We finally settled down to sleep on their sofa sleeper. It was uncomfortable and we were restless, worried, and exhausted all at the same time.

The morning sun finally peeked through the window and we were up and dressed, anxious to see if the doctors had fixed all of Bossy’s problems. When we arrived at the hospital, they couldn’t seem to find our baby. I began to panic and after several agonizing minutes, our doctor showed up. Bossy’s condition had steadily dropped until her jaundice count registered 27. At that point they put her in the NICU. Since we had forgotten to leave my sister’s phone number, the doctors had to make decisions without us. Rather than risk brain damage or possible death, they changed out all of Bossy’s blood for new blood. That meant they had to open up her belly button (the cord had only fallen off the day before) and slowly pump the new blood through her veins while drawing off the tainted blood at the same time. The process took hours, but was finally completed just before dawn.

Thankfully, her numbers were dropping and she was actually getting better. We were so relieved! A part of me was so glad that I didn’t know about the horrible scary part, but I would have never been able to forgive myself if she hadn’t pulled through. I can’t remember how long she was in the hospital. I don’t remember staying more than the one night at my sister’s apartment, so I think she must have been released later that day. Her numbers stabilized and never went back up. The doctors think the high jaundice counts might have been because we have RH and the A/O incompatibility. It might have also been genetic. My youngest sister had to have the exact same procedure during her first week of life.

I’m just grateful that with 12 kids we only had this happen once. The doctors were always much more aggressive with starting treatment for jaundice earlier. At least half our kids were under lights or being treated one way or another. Thank goodness for medical care and doctors! Without them, our perfect gift (little Bossy) would have been taken away permanently.

Birth Story - Bossy, Part 2

Bossy was so beautiful! She weighed in at 7 pounds exactly. Since she was 3 ½ weeks early, we thought that was a good size. She didn’t appear to have any issues and all of her toes and fingers were just as they should be. I was a bit overwhelmed that first day! I’m sure it is because I was exhausted from the long labor and the lack of sleep. My sweetie still laughs about my hesitation…ok, I was downright scared…of changing her clothes. She was so tiny! I was afraid I might hurt her. So he took over and changed her from the hospital jammies to her regular clothes. He made it look so easy that when we finally got home I changed her clothes about 10 times.

Those first days were full of trauma and excitement. We kept expecting someone to come and take her away. We had no idea what we were doing and she was such a wonderful gift. Nursing was not going well. Both my mom and my sister tried to show me what to do, but I couldn’t get the hang of it. I felt totally incompetent.

Bossy’s fingernails were long and scratchy when she was born, so after a couple of days I got out the little nail clippers and tried to cut them. Bad idea! I cut her tiny middle finger and we both sat there and cried for about 10 minutes until the bleeding stopped. (I’ve since learned that I should have bit them off for her.)

I told you yesterday that this was definitely small-town Utah, but I didn’t say how small. My doctor delivered my youngest sister in 1977. He was also my sweetie’s Scoutmaster when he was a teenager! Yeah, a little awkward.

The doc cautioned us about jaundice the day after Bossy was born, but she didn’t look that yellow to us. Actually, her skin was very red. Someone even asked me if maybe we had picked up a little “Indian” baby by mistake!


When she was 5 days old, we ventured out of the house to vote. Grandma was an election judge and if we didn’t do our civic duty, I would never hear the end of it. In 1984, everyone voted at City Hall. We had a large gym there with a stage at one end. The lines were long and I was still so tired.

My sweetie held our place in line and I sat down on one of the benches lining the room. Of course a brand new baby is always a magnet, especially in a small town. It wasn’t long before someone mentioned how yellow she looked under those fluorescent lights. Honestly, it was the first time either of us had noticed the yellow in her eyes.

Grandma suggested we’d better call the doctor and he told us to drive those 15 minutes so he could have a look at her. Twenty minutes later we were on his doorstep. He held her up to the lights and turned her this way and that. Then he told us that as a precaution he thought we’d better take her over to the hospital and have a blood draw. I was not panicking…yet.

The blood draw made her scream and cry although she seemed pretty lethargic otherwise. We waited in the lobby for the test results. I tried to feed her, but all she wanted to do was sleep. When the doctor on call came back in to consult with us, he said her count was at 21 and he wanted us to take her to Utah Valley Hospital in Provo and have her checked in at the NICU. This was NOT what we were expecting!

Neither one of us were in any shape to make that hour and a half drive. Grandma had just finished up her election commitment when we called her on the phone. She picked us up at the hospital about 15 minutes later. As we snuggled our little one in the backseat, the exhaustion and tears just bubbled over. I knew it was too good to last! Our greatest gift was about to be taken away.

Birth Story: Bossy

It was 1984. My sweetie and I had been married for just over a year and we were expecting our first little one. They didn’t do routine ultrasounds then, but we both had a feeling that the baby would be a girl. We were dirt poor and had just transferred back to my hometown so that my sweetie could pursue a degree in electronics. He was unhappy with the Chemical Engineering major he had been working on and I was excited to be back home where I could have built-in babysitters and friends.

I had recently signed up to be a Tupperware lady (for the first time!) and with my hometown network, the extra income was finally working for us. We were so into it that we scheduled an open house party on Halloween and distributed flyers all over the grocery store parking lot. Our idea was that the kids could get a treat and the parents could too if they stopped by…a little overzealous, I know, but we were young and stupid.

The baby was due around Thanksgiving and with school and midterms, I was tired. The Tupperware party was mostly a bust, but I had a couple more scheduled for the following day, so I wasn’t too disappointed. I also had one more midterm to take, and I hadn’t been sleeping well, so we turned in about 11:00.

When I got up around 2:00, I took three steps toward the bathroom and felt a huge gush. At first I thought maybe I just didn’t make it in time, but then my foggy brain suddenly became crystal clear. The baby was coming…today! I shook my sweetie awake and he panicked immediately. We hadn’t gassed up the car and the hospital was 15 miles away! This was also before the days of all night pumps and debit cards.

I called the doctor with shaking fingers. I still didn’t have any specific labor pains. He suggested that we gather our things and get to the hospital as soon as we could. Ten minutes later we were in the car and headed down the deserted street toward the hospital in my sweetie’s hometown.

We coasted in on fumes and got ourselves checked in at the brand new hospital. We had no money and no insurance, so I would not be having an epidural (although I’m pretty sure they didn’t do them anyway, so it didn’t matter). I don’t want to be too graphic, but this was an old school hospital. They still did enemas and a complete shave. It was NOT comfortable. And the labor pains had started with no relief in sight.

I tried to sleep a little, but I was scared and lonely. My sweetie was told it would be hours, so he headed back to the school to take his midterm or at least explain why I wouldn’t be taking mine. I was on the phone with my MIL, trying to arrange something with my two Tupperware parties. I think I’ve told you before that she took care of everything for me.

The afternoon wore on and exhaustion began to set in. I tried sleeping between contractions but with little success. My sweetie returned and I relaxed a little. That seemed to help and the contractions became more regular. There was no discussion of Pitocin…I was never even given an IV.

Eighteen hours after my water broke, my sweet black-haired little Bossy was born. She was beautiful; the greatest miracle I had ever seen during my 19 years. My life would never be the same again.

Happy Birthday, Bossy!

I couldn’t possibly begin this post without showing you the loot we picked up around our neighborhood for Halloween yesterday. My sweetie thought he was a pretty hilarious clown, but mostly it was for Bossy’s benefit. She has an unfounded fear of clowns in any form because of some movie she watched on a band trip a dozen years ago. And since this post is really about her, I thought I would stick that one in.

That pile of candy is our collective efforts. Perhaps you will think I’m mean when I say that we allow all of our kids to take their full-size candy bars and anything special like play-doh or pencils or crackers. Then we pour everything together and this year I let them pick 15 of their favorites to consume as they choose. I will probably give them ten more pieces tomorrow, but then I will put the rest away for family treats and special occasions. It usually lasts almost until Valentine's Day.

But today is a special day! It is Bossy’s 27th birthday. I have written several posts about Bossy and her accomplishments and personality. Here’s a couple of links in case you missed them. This one tells about how she graduated from college. I was thinking I had already told you her birth story, but I guess not, so I will put it up tomorrow since this is getting long. She is an amazing person! She works hard and she plays even harder. She is always willing to support my brilliant beyond brilliant plans and she was right with me when we started this blog although now that she has a real job she has turned over most of the assistance to Teach. (I don’t know what I’ll do when Teach gets a real job…).

Bossy called her own shots from Day 1. She was due on Thanksgiving, but tried to make her appearance on Halloween instead. We were such babies ourselves, I don't think we had a clue what we were doing. Technically, I was a teenage mom since I didn't turn 20 until she was 2 months old. But somehow we figured it out and she not only survived, but thrived! As the oldest of 12, she has always held a leadership position in our family. You've heard of the "oldest child syndrome"? Enough said.

Bossy will celebrate her 10-year reunion next summer. High school was an exciting time for her. She participated on the Academic Decathlon team and they won the state competition and competed at Nationals. She was firmly declared a "band geek" and she was on the band council as the uniform's director. She loved playing in the band. Her instrument of choice was any type of saxophone and she earned scholarships to Snow College that paid for her housing and books since her tuition was already covered by an academic scholarship.

She earned her Girl Scout Gold Award and the Life Saving Award. She was a finalist for Sterling Scholar and she participated in track and field in their throwing events. But mostly it was about band. While she was at Snow she played in all of their top bands and graduated after just one year. Then she was offered a scholarship at the University of Utah to play in their band, but she turned it down after Gamer made her a better offer...

I’m so proud of the person Bossy has become. Yesterday I went with her and our little entourage (her two boys and my youngest three) to the Halloween party at her work. She is obviously respected and liked by her peers even though she has only been at this job for a few months. It’s difficult to get on with DCFS even with an MA degree, but she managed it with a BA and no experience. I’m sure they could see in her all the good that I see.

Happy Birthday, Bossy! When you were little, I used to whisper in your ear that I couldn’t imagine what you would be like when you grew up…and look at you now, all grown up and you turned out just fine! Love you. Have a happy day!