Moments in the NICU: 10 Blankets by Bossy

Hey, all! Mom is away at the leader/daughter Girl Scout retreat and I decided without permission that we needed a new blog post. Hopefully she will edit it when she is back.

The day before I became FMLA eligible, I was let go from my temporary position with the state health department.  Of course I went home and sobbed. How in the world was I going to find a new job 6 months pregnant? The Beast had been pushing for me to join him and Beauty at the bank for years and they helped me get an interview.  I was offered a position immediately and started mid-May. One thing that has been different from my past jobs is that I have a lot of down time and they encourage employees to bring a book or homework to keep occupied. I asked if I could bring in my mending and sew during my down time. I caught up my 3-year pile of mending after a few weeks. 

Granny squares

Around this time Taco and Burrito where cleaning and found a crocheted afghan that Cat Woman had started to teach me how to crochet while we were moving her from Texas to Utah. I started playing around with the blanket trying to remember how to crochet and then I used blog tutorials and videos to practice more complicated stitches. Once I had the basic single and double crochet down, I practiced on this blanket until I felt confident to purchase yarn and start my own blanket for Skittles.  

Skittles's blanket was finished at a baseball tournament game.

I found a pattern I loved online and after restarting four times, I was finally happy with my tension and how the blanket was progressing. I worked on it at work and baseball games and finished in 3 weeks after starting in late June. This was when we thought we may get custody of Super Girl, so I started a simpler pattern to create her a blanket as well. I finished that up in a week at work.  I knew that in July I started weekly non-stress tests at the hospital we would deliver at and I remembered a lot of sitting around during them. After scheduling, I felt a strong urge to donate blankets to the stillbirth closet at the hospital. When Calder was born, we received a beautiful, tiny green blanket and I wanted to give back. 

Blanket #3

I tried to replicated his blanket with some lilac yarn donated by Mom. His blanket is a 20" x 20" granny square and I really struggled with enlarging the granny square. After 6 rows, it started to warp and stretch. I was so unhappy with it. That afternoon at my first NST, I asked the nurse if the stillbirth blankets had to follow a specific pattern. She confirmed that they could be anything, so I decided to use the same pattern I used for Super Girl and scale it down to a smaller blanket. Super Girl’s crib blanket made up so fast, I thought I could average 2 half-sized blankets a week. I was 32 weeks and anticipated delivering at 38 weeks, so I set a goal to have 10 blankets finished for donation. ..until Skittles came crashing into the world at 34 weeks and I was half way through blanket # 3. We decided that as long as Skittles was still admitted, we could continue to work on the goal of making 10 blankets.  

Still learning how to keep my yarn untangled

Gamer brought all the yarn to the hospital and I sat and sang to Skittles as we crocheted blankets and grew. After completing several boy and gender neutral blankets, I starting thinking about two other stillborn babies who had directly influenced my life. My cousin, Addie, was born sleeping a week after Taco was born. I have always felt guilty over Addie’s death. My aunt had multiple tubal pregnancies and Addie was her miracle girl pregnancy.  It was so hard when Addie passed away at 34 weeks. My Aunt Julie was so wonderful when Calder passed away.  She offered to arrange flowers for his casket and she gave me a white afghan she had to cover the casket with during the funeral on top of being the comforting voice of experience.

Addie's blanket

My final blanket was dedicated in memory of baby Faith. I met Faith’s mother, Camilla, through a Facebook group of stillborn moms. Faith is buried in the same cemetery as Calder. On Valentine’s Day, Camilla and her family visited all the infant graves in our cemetery and laid out valentines from Faith. I shared her touching gesture on the Facebook page and Camilla and I became great friends. She enjoys holding sweet Skittles. The final blanket was made with Faith in mind I felt her presence as I picked out the last pattern and colors. I am so grateful for these angels playing and patiently waiting for their mommies to join them. I hope my simple blankets offer a new angel mom the same comfort they gave me.

As for the new job at the bank? They have been wonderful and I couldn't be happier. I should have listened to my brother years ago.