This is Why - With a Little Help from Bossy

My precious tiny Scout (2005)

I sat down at my computer earlier, all set to write you a nice post to read when you get up in the morning. As usual, I checked my stats and read my comments. A couple of them needed moderation, so I pulled them up. I was a bit surprised by the first one when somebody asked me what my sweetie did for a living (he's an Electronics Design Engineer), but the second one had me stand up and walk away...

It was on my "Ask Me" page and Maria phrased it like this, "Why????...Seriously Why???"

That was it. No explanation or anything. That left me to assume that her question was directly related to the fact that we have chosen to have 12 children. Well, like any sane person, I sat for a moment in stunned silence. Then I called Teach in to have her read it too. She said, "You can just delete it, Mom." So I did. One push of a key and it was gone.

But not forgotten. I went upstairs, fully intending to go to bed without posting. In the almost two years I have been blogging with nearly 600 posts I have only had one other person say something negative and yeah, I felt bad. I got undressed for bed, but I couldn't shut off the hurt so I climbed in a hot shower. As I inched the water temperature higher and higher, I thought about all the ways I could answer this particular question.

Since the question was so brief and mostly anonymous with no link-back, I could only assume that this was intended as an attack so immediately my defenses were up. I don't like being judged. Last spring a reporter from the Deseret News called me for my opinion on the Ann Romney debacle. Since the reporter and I had visited before and she knew we were all about family, she wanted to know what I thought. I was happy to give my opinion over the phone and it was over.

Kisses from Baby Teach (1991)

The next morning there was a nice write up with several quotes from me that supported motherhood in general. Later that day I pulled up the story on the internet. Bossy had already warned me not to look at the comment board, but I just couldn't resist. It was full of all kinds of negative statements. The two that stand out in my mind were when one reader called me a "baby factory," and another that suggested that my husband needed to put a knot in his ....  (Sorry, this is a family-friendly blog!) You get the idea.

I was hurt and wounded. Our family size had nothing to do with my comments or the article, but we were in a direct line of attack. Bossy has a difficult time with unfairness and she just couldn't let it go. She wrote a wonderful response and put it out for everyone to see. I apologize if it is a bit over the top from the comment I received. Maria was certainly not questioning our ability to take care of the kids, but I thought it was so good I made a copy so I could read it now and again.

I want to share it with you.

From Bossy:

Baby Bossy...who knew?

Her children are active in school service and participation. The school-aged children enter in every single Reflections category each and every year. Her third and fourth daughters are education majors (graduated now) and will be teaching full-time this fall. She volunteers for each child's classroom and contributes more to her local PTA efforts than most. She is raising twelve civic-minded citizens that get out and vote in every election and participate in the local caucus. She encourages respectful family debate of political candidates before each election and respects when her children disagree and vote opposite of her. She finished her Master's Degree with two small children and a little assistance, but after that she has worked sometimes three jobs to support and pay for her growing family. Her husband is highly-respected in his field and often contracted by major hardware design companies to present on their products and write books and papers. They do not rely on any government assistance. As their oldest child, I am proud to be enriching the planet because of my parents. My parents' choice in number of children has nothing to do with you and yours. If you are so strongly against individual's rights to procreate, may I suggest moving to China? A large family can leave a large legacy, and absolutely as they all become college graduates with middle class incomes, she will be contributing much more in property taxes, social security, and other government programs you falsely claim they are leaching. A great legacy indeed.


Thanks for sticking with me. I know that we don't all have the same values and goals and dreams. But that doesn't really matter, does it? We can still be friends...even if you move to China. That's the beauty of the internet, and of blogging.

Sandy