One Flu Over the Cookoo's Nest

You ever have one of those weeks when nothing goes the way you planned? So Monday was President’s Day and the kids were all home from school. My sweetie took a floating vacation day so he could spend the day with us. We had a terrific time! We went out to my favorite restaurant, Chick Fil A for free breakfast, then we spent the afternoon cleaning the church and playing basketball. After that we drove to Mt. Mike’s for pizza and Krispie Kremes for dessert. Then we all went home and watched a movie. It seemed like the perfect beginning for an amazing week. I couldn’t have been more wrong! 

On Tuesday, the Dog Walker woke up not feeling well. I told him to suck it up and I sent him to school. But after he left I started feeling guilty so I called and made him a doctor’s appointment. He’d been sick for quite a while, but mostly just a hacky cough and congestion. I convinced the doctor that he had a sinus infection and begged for a prescription. With a self-satisfied smile I drove to the pharmacy, assuming the worst was behind me. 

 Later that night, long after the little ones were sleeping and I had finally drug my own tired bones to bed, the lights in my room were abruptly switched on. Even without the light, the wailing was enough to wake the dead. In my somewhat confused, half-awake state and without my bifocals, I mostly recognized Sport. He was crying and complaining of a headache, a stomachache, you name it…if anything could ache, it did. First I sent him to the bathroom, then I had him take a shower. The fever started a couple of hours later and by the time the sun was up, it was pretty obvious that he was not going to school. My Dog Walker was also feeling bad, so he stayed in bed. A quick visit to the doctor later and Sport had a confirmed case of Influenza B. 

Now this seemed pretty unfair. Each and every year I line up all the kids, grownups and little ones, and I march them into the doctor’s office to get their annual flu shots. They grumble a little, but they all submit when I guilt them into it. You see, the baby is always too young for a flu shot and Sport is actually allergic to them (another time I’ll tell you that story). That leaves our ranks exposed, so the only thing we can do is circle the wagons and hope. This is the first time this strategy has not worked, and Sport was one sick little guy. When he wasn’t feverish and hallucinating, he was complaining about a headache and dizziness. 


The doctor put him on Tamiflu and called in prescriptions for everyone in the family, but the co-pay was $50.00 for EACH prescription! So we filled two of them and hunkered down, just waiting to see who would be the next victim. Turns out it was Baby Doll…and Curly…and Scout…and Prima Donna. I was awake most of the night with Sport on Tuesday night, then on Wednesday night when Baby Doll started running a fever, it felt like a medical ward off MASH as the sickees just kept coming in. 

Curly climbed in my bed first. He was hot and feverish and immediately curled up in a tiny ball. Half an hour later Scout crawled up next to him. She was also burning up. (Just for the record, she sprawls out on the bed even when she’s sick.) Prima Donna just didn’t bother to get up until 1:00 in the afternoon. So when they were finally awake and somewhat lucid, I lined them all up and gave them each a spoonful of Tamiflu (mixed with chocolate milk, of course). Unfortunately, that strategy didn’t work either, Teach woke up this morning with a fever and headache. If you don’t hear from me for a couple of days you’ll know why…but for right now, the only thing wrong with me is lack of sleep. That and the usual insanity plea.