Widgets Magazine

Jun 1, 2016

Guest Blog: "In every dozen..." by Drama Queen

Hey bloggersphere, did you know that I like to make up ridiculously bad puns?  Well, it's true.  And since Momma keeps staying up late to write posts for you all, I figured it was only just that you should be punished by some truly pathetic puns.

Drama Queen:  Hey, Bossy!  You look so great in that shirt.  And your hair!  I love -
Bossy: Are you just being nice so I share the rest of this soda with you?
Drama Queen:  What?  Are you accusing me of DR. PEPPER-ing you up??
Bossy:  Dude.  Stop with the puns.

Drama Queen: When I grow up, I've decided that I will name my cat Kevin.
The Beast:  Why?
Drama Queen:  So that way, when I bring him home with me to visit for Christmas, Dad can't object.
The Beast: I don't quite follow.
Drama Queen:  Have you never seen Home Alone??  You can't leave Kevin home alone at Christmas!  It's unAmerican!

Drama Queen:  Did the timer ring on Dad's bread yet?
Teach: If it did, we're TOAST!
Drama Queen: Do you think it will get a RISE out of him?
Teach: Maybe it'll be okay if we BUTTER him up first.
Drama Queen: I can't!  I'm all out of DOUGH!
Teach: ..We should probably get the bread out though before it burns.
Drama Queen: We're stopping?  But we were on a ROLL!  I KNEAD you to help me come up with just one more pun, at YEAST.
Mom:  Quit LOAFing off you two.

Drama Queen:  Give this to Kevin.
Dog Walker: Drama Queen!  Kevin isn't here.
Drama Queen:  Kevin's not here?  Kevin's not here!  (in perfect mimicry of the movie, of course. And it sets off a chain reaction with Dog Walker and Mom.)

Drama Queen:  Man, why can't ballerinas ever just get to the POINTE?
Princess:  They do tend to DANCE around the topic..
Drama Queen: It's cuz they spend all dance class working on their ATTITUDE!
Crafty: Awh, that was a good one.
Drama Queen:  Are you sure?  I thought it was a bit of a STRETCH.
Princess: Well, that one was.
Drama Queen: I'm tan-DONE with this conversation.
Crafty:  What?
Drama Queen: Like tandue?  That's a thing..right?
-both girls shake their head and leaves the room-
Drama Queen:  That's right.  Just SASHAY away from the pun master!
Sport: You're so embarrassing.
Drama Queen:  You mean em-BARRE-essing??

And, that's all for today folks!  Pun on, bloggersphere.  Pun on. 


Marci said...

I love this. This is a hilarious post!

shortybear said...

very funny


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